When the ladder of success leans against the wrong wall
When life throws a curveball, even the strongest among us sink. A friend of mine just underwent Aortic Valve replacement surgery. Ironically, he is in his mid-thirties, in phenomenal shape, and rides a bicycle at an ultra-competitive level. Watching him fight off depression and push himself back into “the peloton” has inspired a lot of us in our core group.
But where do we go or what should we think when we have what it takes to be happy, and we aren’t? I am talking to a very specific group of us that ARE achieving things, still driven, and yet are genuinely unhappy.
Is your ladder leaned on the correct wall?
We’ve all heard this by now: “I climbed the ladder of success, got to the top, and realized it was leaning on the wrong wall.” I recall being in that spot in my thirties. I had a dream career and a failing marriage. Was it really that my ladder was on the wrong wall?
Ask better questions
Here are some questions I wish I would have asked myself prior to that defining time in history:
- Does my Naval career serve a greater good?
- How do the core values of the Navy match up with cultivating a healthy marriage?
- How do I balance being successful with the need to develop and care for others?
There are multiple approaches to answering the question, “Given all you have – why aren’t you happy?” One approach is to evaluate how your current position in life is positively influencing others. There are quantitative ways to measure your impact in the lives or others [more money, resources, etc.] and there are qualitative measurements [feeling more rewarded, pursuing their purpose, etc.].Looking back, my ladder wasn’t on the wrong wall – I hadn’t taken the time to align a higher calling or concern for others [my wife included] and missed a phenomenal opportunity to have a rock star career and thriving marriage.
By putting “meaning” into your achievements, goals or intentions – you can change the dimensions of your effort without changing careers or even spouses! This is a conversation that has a few facets and is not easy to answer on the surface – but it’s a conversation worth having!
If you are interested in a deeper dive conversation about how to put more meaning into your business, marriage, or any relationship – then click here and let’s set up a conversation to see how that could work for you.