“It’s the echo that counts”
We all hate it, and yet we are all guilty at times of doing it: being a critic. Sure, there is a time for constructive criticism – in fact – I am a HUGE fan! But I am talking about taking cheap shots at others without taking time to understand the full backstory or the context of a situation – and just looking to crush someone without the intent to inform or improve.
Joseph Brodsky, the famous poet who won a Nobel Prize for Literature in 1987, delivered the commencement speech to students at the University of Michigan. The full speech is shared in Brodsky’s book, On Grief and Reason: Essays. The big takeaway? We gotta learn how to deal with the critics, detractors, and negative influences in our lives.
Just Let it Go
The impact of negativity is magnified when we talk about it, no matter what we say. We breathe life into poor decisions, bad ideas, and evil people by discussing them over and over again.
When do you draw the line between “processing” and just stewing in a pot of negativity?
Rehearsing a bad situation is rarely smart, and usually destructive. It took me almost two years to positively reframe an accident on a motorcycle track and restore myself to constructive, positive thought. The same holds true when critics, detractors, and negative situations hamper our thinking and affect our decision making.
Bottom Line?
What Brodsky suggested was that we give our detractors significance from how we react to them. We can crush destructive criticism and negative influences by taking oxygen away from the flame: The best way to deal with destructive criticism is to render it irrelevant by ignoring it and forgetting it. Take the time to process a bad interaction or bad feedback, see if there is any truth, then make a vow to let it go and move on.
Negativity doesn’t deserve a louder voice. In the words of Brodsky, “It’s the echo that counts.”
Spend your time echoing something worth hearing.
https://jamesclear.com/joseph-brodsky
So, here is your mission, if you so choose to accept it:
Take 15-30 minutes each morning to reflect and identify a narrative that you have rehearsed and believe has had a negative impact on you. Come to a decision to start a conversation with someone you trust and respect and flip the script to create an echo worth hearing.